18th June - How a small issue when not done properly become a big issue

1) Bought wan tan noodles for him to eat.

2) when came back, SF was upset as he seem to have thrown his noodles on the basin.

3) the floor was also oily with droplets all over the kitchen floor.

4) when confronted, leonard raised his voice arguing with the mother. Took the table cloth to wipe the noodles , which make SF even more upset. (concern that the maid will subsequently take the cloth and wipe other areas, spreading the oil. Leonard responded saying that he dont know.

5) took the cane and give him a whack.

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What he should learn
i) There would be no issue if he does what he has always been taught. ie use a tissue paper, wipe off the noodles into the rubbish bin . That is why he must learn to do things the first time right. However he will never be able to do so , if he is not bothered about how it impacts others.

ii) This is not a simple issue of cleaning up the wan tan noodles. This is an issue of constantly trying to do things right the first time in life, else he will forever be spending time on something else, always ending up last in life or cause people to be upset with him because of his self-centeredness. He will end up with no friends and life would really be miserable in future.

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See what are the repercussions of not doing something so simple . All he had to do , was to make sure he do things properly in the first place. Example :

i) he dirty the basin, make it oily.

ii) the basin can get stuck.

iii) he uses the table cloth to clean the noodles from the basin. (more like spreading the oil ?)

iv) when his stupid maid uses the cloth to clean up, she will be spreading the oil all over.

v) despite that, he dares to raise his voice at his mother .

vi) his excuse was, he didnt know how to clean up !!

vii) as usual, very upset with his answer. he was taught to clean up the bowl after eating, but he doesnt. this kind of thing dont need teaching. So long as he thinks for others, he wont do what he does. In any case, when people teach him, he dont bother to learn or do ie clean the bowl. Then when it comes to new scenario, say he wasnt taught.

viii) similar to lessons. When you try to teach him during school time, he ignore. claims to busy to learn. during school holidays, ask him to plan, to make up for weak subjects , he refuse to . All he cares about is computer games (despite doing badly). So he refuse to buck up during school time, refuse to buck up during holiday time. then when is he going to study ??

viii) the night before at the hotel was a similar issue. go to his brother's hotel room. eat bread, but leave scrumbs all over the floor. When asked to clean up, again he refused. Even when i ask him to , again he refused. At the end of the day, i gave up, but his poor mother has to pick up for him.

ix) When he as elder brother dont clean up, why should his younger brothers do so. In fact, his brothers are a lot more careful and considerate than him currently.

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Something for him to think about

a) Blog down why i am upset with him. Answer the following :
i) Why am i making a big fuss over the whole issue ?

ii) Does he sees similar incidents where by not doing things properly, he causes more problem for himself later on ?

iii) Does it take a lot to do things right the first time ? ie the above incident

iv) Am i justified in scolding him or have i been unfair to him ?

v) Does he realise that whenever he does something wrong, he gets people even more upset with his answers or because he raises his voice ? Is he so difficult for him to admit to his mistakes and tell how he will improve in future ?

vi) From his brother's perspective, what example is he giving to his brother ? what are the possible negative or positive things they are learning from him ?

vii) If he doesnt learn how to do things right the first time, shows consideration for others when doing somethings because all he cares about is computer time, his computer time will be limited. If he thinks there are alterative ways to make him improve, then he is free to suggest.

viii) currently, even as i try to limit his computer time, i try to make sure that a comp is available to them so that they can play after their homework. since they always abuse it and it is so difficult to check on them, then i have no choice but to lock up the computer, even if it is during the holidays, unless he can think of something . Ironically, he can only have chance to play if i am on leave and at home (after he has done his homework).


B) Tell me his remaining holiday plan, in terms of covering for the topics he is weak in , in preparation for school re-open. I have no energy, time, to tell him what to do, what he needs to improve on etc. He should take responsibility for his own studies.